I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
