didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
