Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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