she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My life is pants optional.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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