her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
