It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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