ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
