Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
