Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
