oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
