My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
