i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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