is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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