They should really pass out barf bags in church
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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