And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
