I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Never joke about your clitoris.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
