so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I need moral support for this bender
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
