as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
