Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
