I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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