I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
