Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
