omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
