Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What drink are we having for lunch?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
