He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
