at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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