belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
