I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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