It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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