I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
