My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
