You really coming over, don't trick.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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