i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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