My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
