So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
