his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
