So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
