hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
