i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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