i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
