I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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