There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize