the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
