biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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