I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
