Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
