You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
