This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
