I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
