I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
